Sony Pictures Entertainment has a contracted rate at a comfortable if nondescript hotel, and we made the wise move of arriving there two nights in advance—creating some semblance of a consistent daily rhythm is probably good before performing under pressure.1 Wandering the halls on the eve of taping triggers idle speculation as to which fellow guests might also be prospective competitors, although it’s unclear what in comportment or style would mark them out as such. But the next morning when I head to the lobby to catch the shuttle the contestants are unmistakable, for two reasons:
- Everyone has the two2 requisite changes of clothes draped on an arm or over a shoulder, like we’re about to go to a very formal sleepover3
- No one else would be standing in a lobby of a hotel in a rough circle nearly motionless and silent at seven in the morning
- Given the circumstances this was also the first flight for our newborn son, which added exponentially to the logistical complexities of the trip. Plus guests under eight are barred from the set, requiring someone to stay back with him. But it was definitely worth it, because love. ↩
- You are of course welcome to bring more than two outfits, depending on your level of optimism, though if you’re lugging a Samsonite and the combined number of Jeopardy wins in your ancestry is under 20 you should probably dial it back a bit there, tiger. ↩
- There are no other life situations I can think of where outfits are selected and transported with such careful consideration and the simultaneous knowledge that there is a two-thirds chance they will be put back unworn. ↩
- Even the robot battle shows that were briefly popular thrived on the competition between the teams themselves, which the mechanical destruction merely foregrounded. Drama, an essential component of television, is ineffably human. ↩
- You’ll note a rather expensive German luxury car in a prime parking spot right next to the studio. Look closer and you’ll see that the license plate is BONUS RD. I would hardly think that Pat Sajak or Vanna White would want to draw such attention to themselves given their existing levels of celebrity, so it could be a producer’s vehicle. Regardless, further evidence of the handsome profitability of game shows. ↩
- And the amorphous hopes of thousands trying to catch their big break in Hollywood. ↩
- His dressing room is somewhere in the back regions of the set, comfortably insulated from any chance contact with contestants. It is presumably furnished with accoutrements unknown to the contestants’ side of the house. ↩
- Or the Canadian equivalent: after a temporary hiatus Canadians are once again eligible to compete. Questions over anti-spam laws had caused producers to cut off Canadian contestants for fear of lawsuits. ↩
- It’s that shirtless one of Alex, of unknown provenance. ↩
- And having my eyebrows filled in made me aware that my eyebrows could use a filling-in. ↩
- Our taping occurring shortly after Prince died, and I later found out that at least one of these songs was a very famous one. This did not bode well for my performance in any potential music categories. ↩
