to work contentedly with other individuals (e.g., within a team or organizational unit) in a manner that evokes the free-spirited collaboration of a playground filled with toddlers, full of the guileless joie de vivre that comes with exploring a new world; unfortunately this phrase is generally used to reference an actual or potential conflict while whitewashing any unpleasantness through the use of a juvenile metaphor, as in “We’ve got consultants from rival companies on this project, it will be tough to make them play in the same sandbox”
I’m a management consultant and writer serving organizations both large (Fortune 500) and small (nonprofit) on a range of strategic issues
build the racecar while driving it
to engage in an inordinately complex task that requires one to establish operating requirements and/or develop capabilities while simultaneously carrying out the functions that these are ultimately intended to support; caution is advised for those finding themselves in a situation where this jargon is apropos, for its jovial nature belies the chaos it portends; the obvious impossibility of such an endeavor is never remarked on, and may indeed be part of the phrase’s charm; similar to build the plane while flying it, which implies an even more frenetic level of activity
fight on the beaches
to imply that someone will expend his or her utmost effort in support of a person, idea, system, etc., usually in a manner that will preserve the status quo, as in “I can’t let them change our PowerPoint template, I’ll fight on the beaches for it”; originates in a rather frivolous appropriation of the defining phrase from Winston Churchill’s historic wartime speech, in which he declaimed Britain’s resolve to defend itself no matter the cost; like other examples of business jargon, when shorn of context and pressed into mundane service the phrase loses a bit of its grandeur1
- In a similar vein, the casual use of the jargon “drink the Kool-Aid” belies its truly macabre origins in the Jonestown massacre of 1978, in which several hundred people died as part of a cult suicide; the phrase’s somber heritage has been almost completely forgotten in modern usage ↩
brain dump
a generally unstructured, comprehensive verbal transfer of information from one party to another, sometimes occurring in the context of a transition between staff or project phases; conveys a note of inconsideration on the part of the dumper, who has not invested the effort required to structure his or her thoughts in a manner that would be more easily received and understood
back-pocket
(adj.) a piece of analysis or area of thinking that is prepared or reviewed as a cautionary measure, without expectation that it will be used in discussion, but that can nonetheless be whipped out at a moment’s notice; a similar idea is captured in the noun construction, as in: “Keep those slides in your back pocket for the meeting”; unfortunately many items consigned to the back pocket remain there, never to justify the effort expended in creating them
Alternative Trump and the media-go-round
The early days of Trump’s presidency have been strange, bewildering the media with errors so unforced they appear deliberate. Starting with the new press secretary’s weirdly combative conference on Saturday, at which alternative facts were presented, and continuing through a meandering series of appearances and sternly-worded executive orders of uncertain consequence, they have managed to raise an already-high alarm level in newsrooms.
The most established of these media have now taken to calling out falsehoods plainly, which is admirable but highly unlikely to change anyone’s opinion of Trump. Given what has already come to light, the chances that exaggerating his inauguration attendance will finally sway public opinion is remote.1 The New York Times’ newly-discovered scolding tone accomplishes little really, other than to reassure those already in the fold that it will now hold Trump to account, the impact of which might be, to the Gray Lady’s horror, nothing. Read more…
- “What’s that you say, he made up attendance numbers? Well I can overlook the bankruptcies and the lecherous comments, but lying about our grand civic pageant is just beyond the pale.” ↩
- And though they might be able to ignore his spokespeople, they can’t so easily do that to Trump himself, who remains the one and only President of these United States. ↩
- It may be that Trump is immune to the Streisand Effect; in fact it may actually make him stronger. ↩
at the coal face
to be situated at the utmost point of advancement, e.g., a role having frontline customer interaction, or one bearing direct responsibility for the work being done; this contrasts with the positions of higher-ups who remain comfortably ensconced in their climate-controlled offices, where nary a speck of coal dust threatens to sully their white collars; related to leading edge,1 but with a grittier, more workmanlike aura
- Which itself spawned the even more flamboyant bleeding edge, to describe those in the avant-avant garde. ↩
load for bear
to prepare for a particularly difficult, complex, or large task requiring ample preparation, as in “The whole board of directors is coming to this negotiation Tom, we’d better load for bear”; stems from analogy to the fact that when hunting large game one would stock ammunition of a caliber more powerful than what is generally carried; whether in the actual forest or the metaphorical business context, said loading should occur well in advance of the sighting of one’s prey/corporate nemesis/target muckety-muck; one surmises that a simple task would thus necessitate ‘loading for squirrel’
next level jargon
While the novice jargon user may stick to hoary classics like proactive or think outside the box, a select subset of management types are able to insinuate the following phrases into workaday conversation with little effort. Caution is advised when handling these expressions— inexperienced users are likely to generate bafflement instead of the desired veneer of insidery expertise.
- at the coal face: working at the leading edge, i.e. in a directly customer-facing role
- build the church for Easter: to structure or invest in something for the most extreme use case; this relies on the fact that in increasingly nominal Christian societies Easter is one of two occasions in the year, the other being Christmas, in which church attendance is still normative
- burn the furniture to stay warm: to undertake actions in periods of extreme distress that, while they may ameliorate the situation, virtually guarantee that once the situation has passed the institution will be unable to function normally
- chalking the field: to establish the parameters under which a certain set of actions will subsequently take place; from analogy to preparing a sports field for play by marking boundary lines, goal areas, etc.
- coin-operated (adj): generally unsavory implication that someone is avaricious, by analogy to vending machines, which only produce output in response to the introduction of money, and then only if exact payment is made
- hayfire: a phenomenon that appears or takes effect extremely rapidly but dissipates with similar speed, similar to a fire ignited in hay, which flares brightly for a moment but quickly burns itself out, as in “Don’t worry about the media interest in our CEO change, this is just a hayfire”
- long pole through the tent: the final and most complex step required to complete a specific task, and upon which the form of the entire structure depends
- prewire: to establish the relationships, networks, meetings, data sources, etc., that will be necessary to successfully execute an upcoming initiative or project
tough putt
a specific element of work that will be difficult to properly execute, usually used in relation to a smaller component of a larger effort; usage may be correlated to those individuals with a high frequency of practicing imaginary golf swings in corridors; alternatives include tough row to hoe, which is used for larger pieces of work or where implications are longer-term, and heavy lift
I send a regular email on management, with a dose of humor to keep it interesting. Want in? Sign up below.