the depth of talent that an organization or unit possesses, with the implication that its more junior employees are capable of assuming greater responsibilities when the need inevitably arises; generally used to refer to a senior executive’s immediate reporting staff, as in “I don’t think we can promote Tonya out of the South Asia region right now, she needs to build up her local bench strength first”; from analogy to various sports in which players not in the starting lineup wait on a literal sideline bench to be substituted in the match, depending on changing playing conditions, teammate fatigue or injury, etc.
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buttoned-up (buttoned-down)
Posted on April 11, 2018
to indicate that a particular work product or analysis is comprehensive, accurate, and/or capable of withstanding close scrutiny; suggestive of a shirt or uniform whose buttons have been fully fastened, without any having been missed, giving a neat and completed appearance, as in “Let’s make sure the presentation is buttoned-down before we send the final version to the senior team”; as this jargon can end with either “-up” or “-down”, it is a rare example of opposite terms with identical meanings
ninja
Posted on April 4, 2018
a word used as a job title in organizations that are generally newer and tech-forward, and applied to roles in one of two very different categories:
- senior leadership, such as founders and others with sufficient equity stakes or income such that typical job titles can be casually dispensed with, as these individuals will never need to polish a resume again; used by those who wish to demonstrate how non-hierarchical, whimsical, and/or iconoclastic they are; can also be used in fast-growing organizations where exact job responsibilities are difficult to pin down due to the fluidity of the business environment
- jobs in repetitive, front-line roles; applied by companies that want to gussy up the fact that these are in fact call center workers
used to trade on the connotations of stealth, competence, discipline, nimble athleticism, and/or overall mastery associated with ninjas, with little awareness of the feudal, martial, and political context of Japan in which they arose
throw the rope over the highest branch
Posted on March 30, 2018
to make an attempt at the most aggressive target instead of something more easily reached, usually with the implication that this extreme goal is not necessary to meet the demands of the current situation, as in “We don’t have to beat Amazon on price on our first day, let’s not throw the rope over the highest branch”; evokes the setup of a tire swing or similar rig requiring a sturdy tree limb in order to function; in this way the jargon user can pretend that those in earshot are an adventurous, outdoorsy group and not a pack of cubicle dwellers
tickle
Posted on March 21, 2018
to informally check in on someone, with the connotation that the recipient of the gesture may require some good-natured cajoling to respond as desired, as in “Okay I’ll tickle the analytics team and make sure the omnichannel report is on track”; a more jocular version of ping, which is employed when the jargon user wants to present a more technical impression; related to ankle-bite, which acknowledges the mild annoyance caused by the action of repeatedly inquiring about a matter
This was Jeopardy!
Now back to regular programming
Posted on March 19, 2018
So that happened.
The Jeopardy experience goes fast, and then it goes slow. The inevitable loss is like getting blown out of an airlock into space, where you can chew on the experience for the first time.
This is because in Jeopardy’s concentrated shooting schedule the Wednesday game is the last match before lunch, over which you can savor a victory, and the final winner of the day will have at least one night to bask in a champion’s status. But aside from these two conditions there is no time to think about it; you’re either playing or you’ve lost.
- Assuming the standard shooting schedule of five games per day. You can view the all-time Jeopardy leaderboard here. ↩
- Once more, with feeling: as for Jeopardy, also for many things in life. ↩
- At least once I was sure of the question and fervently attempted to ring in but was beaten out by a competitor with a different and (more importantly) correct response, robbing me of the chance to display my ignorance publicly. ↩
- In following the rhythms of the courtroom, Jeopardy is like that other immensely profitable staple of syndicated television, the judge show, sans the brassy personalities. ↩
- Acknowledgment of this reality led to the establishment of a now-defunct Seniors Tournament, limited to those over 55. ↩
- If you stay on long enough, you can transfer to the special Tournament of Champions bus, but this first one you can still only ride once. ↩
- An actual clue, and if you immediately thought of George Herbert, the 5th Earl of Carnarvon, and are not yourself a member of the British nobility or personally acquainted with the same, you must have one fascinatingly obscure explanation. ↩
- During rehearsal a particularly sweet-natured fellow contestant was attempting small talk with a coordinator when her innocuous question was bluntly shot down, catching us off-guard and deflating the moment. But let’s view it charitably, for everyone has their days. ↩
- Epic digression, round two: through a chain of circumstances unrelated to any personal distinction I once found myself post-game in the tunnel underneath an NBA arena while the players exited their locker rooms. Among the improbably tall players and assorted hangers-on milling about I spotted Derek Fisher, who would go on to an unfortunate head coaching stint with the New York Knicks, waiting with a takeout bag containing his dinner from Ruby Tuesday. The sheer mundanity of the spectacle was striking; in contrast to the glitz on the court upstairs, where athletes at the pinnacle of a global sports and entertainment empire played a game for millions (both people and dollars), here they were like nothing so much as management consultants at the end of a routine workday, about to head back to their Embassy Suites off the airport frontage road, whence they would check Facebook while desultorily watching Wolf Blitzer. ↩
- Recent syndicated versions have been significantly streamlined, but have never quite captured the zeitgeist as did the original Regis-helmed iteration. ↩
- This being part of the question that vaulted IRS agent John Carpenter into lasting internet fame as the first million-dollar winner on the original series, a feat accomplished with no recourse to lifelines except to inform his father, in exceedingly boss-like fashion, that he was going to win the million dollars. #savage ↩
- The originally straightforward wheel has become increasingly encrusted with various jackpots, prizes, and assorted gameplay-changing elements of such complexity that a casual viewer can no longer readily intuit the rules. ↩
- Incidentally Donald Trump has featured numerous times in Jeopardy clues, including as the subject of his own full category back in 2007. Hillary Clinton has been similarly prominent, though only the latter had her presidential prospects mooted, in a clue from 2003. ↩
- Our game was called, and here I merely report, Bullpardy. ↩
- Exact numbers are hard to source given how incentivized the television world is to spin data in the best possible light, but Jeopardy’s own press kit for Season 33 cites 23 million viewers, down from 25 million just one year prior. Unsourced rumblings suggest Jeopardy had 50 million viewers at its peak. ↩
- For nostalgia to take root its object has to endure long enough to color a formative experience; the way today’s game shows flare up and disappear does not bode well for a place in the next generation’s memories. ↩
that would be great
Posted on March 14, 2018
a soft imperative artfully couched in innocuous language; generally converts the preceding or following phrase into a request, as in “If you could have those pages ready in an hour, that would be great”; used by those who want to indicate their requirements without calling attention to the power dynamics of a situation, although all parties understand them implicitly; there is no negative counterpart to this statement, as in, “If you could send me the customer analysis, that would be terrible”; similar in style and intent to Why don’t you go ahead and
it is what it is
Posted on March 7, 2018
a brief declamation indicating that the thing speaks for itself, or that any unpleasant aspects of a situation cannot be changed, as in “The CEO just moved the update meeting for the third time after we rescheduled our whole month for it, but it is what it is”; can be used to express resignation, acknowledgment of an absurdity, acceptance of the unexpected, etc., and further encourages the listener to not dwell on what has transpired, while conveying a certain stoic resolve; this specimen is considered the epitome of existentialist jargon, bleak yet strangely reassuring
pass the laugh test
Posted on February 27, 2018
to meet the most basic criteria for logic, plausibility, or probability, generally phrased in the negative, as in “I’m not sure that predicting a fivefold increase in sales next year will pass the laugh test”; the expression metaphorically gauges if someone hearing a statement for the first time would involuntarily burst into laughter due to its sheer absurdity; can be used when discussion or analysis has become so inward-focused that a dose of common sense is needed; in some instances failing this test may be desirable, as in the creation of stretch goals designed to spur fundamental changes in thinking or approach; similar to pass the smell test or sniff test, which is a milder form used for less extreme cases
at-bats
Posted on February 21, 2018
discrete opportunities to attempt something, as in “We need to fix these issues before we ship the next version or we won’t get another at-bat”; derives from the sport of baseball, in which players face the opposing team’s pitcher multiple times in a game; this term is used to evoke a sporting or competitive atmosphere, conjuring up the collegiality or informality often associated with sport-related analogies; for the Commonwealth citizen this jargon may have rather different connotations, as a cricketer may have only one opportunity to bat in a match, although it may be of much longer duration than in baseball; related to bite of the apple
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