to indicate that a particular work product or analysis is comprehensive, accurate, and/or capable of withstanding close scrutiny; suggestive of a shirt or uniform whose buttons have been fully fastened, without any having been missed, giving a neat and completed appearance, as in “Let’s make sure the presentation is buttoned-down before we send the final version to the senior team”; as this jargon can end with either “-up” or “-down”, it is a rare example of opposite terms with identical meanings

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a word used as a job title in organizations that are generally newer and tech-forward, and applied to roles in one of two very different categories:

1. senior leadership, such as founders and others with sufficient equity stakes or income such that typical job titles can be casually dispensed with, as these individuals will never need to polish a resume again; used by those who wish to demonstrate how non-hierarchical, whimsical, and/or iconoclastic they are; can also be used in fast-growing organizations where exact job responsibilities are difficult to pin down due to the fluidity of the business environment
2. jobs in repetitive, front-line roles; applied by companies that want to gussy up the fact that these are in fact call center workers

used to trade on the connotations of stealth, competence, discipline, nimble athleticism, and/or overall mastery associated with ninjas, with little awareness of the feudal, martial, and political context of Japan in which they arose

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to make an attempt at the most aggressive target instead of something more easily reached, usually with the implication that this extreme goal is not necessary to meet the demands of the current situation, as in “We don’t have to beat Amazon on price on our first day, let’s not throw the rope over the highest branch”; evokes the setup of a tire swing or similar rig requiring a sturdy tree limb in order to function; in this way the jargon user can pretend that those in earshot are an adventurous, outdoorsy group and not a pack of cubicle dwellers

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to informally check in on someone, with the connotation that the recipient of the gesture may require some good-natured cajoling to respond as desired, as in “Okay I’ll tickle the analytics team and make sure the omnichannel report is on track”; a more jocular version of ping, which is employed when the jargon user wants to present a more technical impression; related to ankle-bite, which acknowledges the mild annoyance caused by the action of repeatedly inquiring about a matter

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a soft imperative artfully couched in innocuous language; generally converts the preceding or following phrase into a request, as in “If you could have those pages ready in an hour, that would be great”; used by those who want to indicate their requirements without calling attention to the power dynamics of a situation, although all parties understand them implicitly; there is no negative counterpart to this statement, as in, “If you could send me the customer analysis, that would be terrible”; similar in style and intent to Why don’t you go ahead and

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a brief declamation indicating that the thing speaks for itself, or that any unpleasant aspects of a situation cannot be changed, as in “The CEO just moved the update meeting for the third time after we rescheduled our whole month for it, but it is what it is”; can be used to express resignation, acknowledgment of an absurdity, acceptance of the unexpected, etc., and further encourages the listener to not dwell on what has transpired, while conveying a certain stoic resolve; this specimen is considered the epitome of existentialist jargon, bleak yet strangely reassuring

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to meet the most basic criteria for logic, plausibility, or probability, generally phrased in the negative, as in “I’m not sure that predicting a fivefold increase in sales next year will pass the laugh test”; the expression metaphorically gauges if someone hearing a statement for the first time would involuntarily burst into laughter due to its sheer absurdity; can be used when discussion or analysis has become so inward-focused that a dose of common sense is needed; in some instances failing this test may be desirable, as in the creation of stretch goals designed to spur fundamental changes in thinking or approach; similar to pass the smell test or sniff test, which is a milder form used for less extreme cases

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discrete opportunities to attempt something, as in “We need to fix these issues before we ship the next version or we won’t get another at-bat”; derives from the sport of baseball, in which players face the opposing team’s pitcher multiple times in a game; this term is used to evoke a sporting or competitive atmosphere, conjuring up the collegiality or informality often associated with sport-related analogies; for the Commonwealth citizen this jargon may have rather different connotations, as a cricketer may have only one opportunity to bat in a match, although it may be of much longer duration than in baseball; related to bite of the apple

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an intangible area where untimely, tangential, or otherwise undesirable ideas that crop up are metaphorically placed, often to be abandoned, as in: “Let’s put price increases in the parking lot for now, we want to stay focused on unit growth”; from the idea that vehicles not currently in use can be moved to a remote location and turned off, to be revisited only when needed; this phrase is often used to gently redirect a conversation that has strayed down a digressive path, without coming across too sternly; some meetings may utilize a visual parking lot, where such items are noted in an area separated from the main writing space

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a holdover term from the analog era, in which the substance and impressiveness of one’s work would be captured in the heft of the documents dropped on the conference room table at the start of a meeting, generating a solid boom, as in “Make sure you include all seven appendices in the investment committee report, we need the thud factor”; the phrase contains an unstated yet undeniable sense of satisfaction on the part of the one causing the thud, as he or she is proud of the volume of output produced and wishes to call attention to it; in modern parlance the thud factor is largely metaphorical, as weighty compilations of documents have been replaced by digital communications, and there is as yet no good way to drop files in cloud storage onto an oak boardroom table; the thud factor is primarily intended to dazzle an audience, which in most cases is disinclined to actually pore over the work product in detail, being satisfied by its mere existence

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